Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We're too hungover to prance.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize