i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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