I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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