I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just gargled with NyQuil
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
