I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize