i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
