Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Me too!
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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