I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
