I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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