My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
