Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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