We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
