Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
