You're completely useless in the revolution.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
