my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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