someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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