What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
