why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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