I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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