I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
