Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
What drink are we having for lunch?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
