another moral hangover. fuck.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
