Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
