living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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