reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
