I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
