he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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