Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
