I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I've blown a few things in my day
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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