I want to stick my p in your. b.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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