also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
