11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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