I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.