Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"

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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.

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(512): View more from Texas

Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.

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(925): View more from California

I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands

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The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Read it at the TFLN blog
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.

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(214): View more from Texas

I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.

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(415): View more from California

Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.

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(618): View more from Illinois

he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock

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