well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
