I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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