You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm always down for nudity.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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