Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
