ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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