Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
