i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
