I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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