You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize