real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
