she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
