Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
