Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
