So drunk, too bad you don't want this
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
