We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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