before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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