so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
