Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
