If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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