I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize