For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
In other news, I just burned my penis
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
