Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
