You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
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or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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