I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
