But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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