Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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