i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
