O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize