someone get that fucking seahorse.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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