everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
