C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
