What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
